


forgetting is not as easy as forgiving

by 44_tee_44



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Heartache, Love, Multi, Pain, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:29:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/44_tee_44/pseuds/44_tee_44
Summary: Aaron's past is brought back and it is bring pain and torture. i will feature the reprise of characters that we have not seen for years. it may upset you if you are uneasy with depressing subjects.





	1. the dream

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic so pleasebe prepare for mistakes. please leave helpful suggestion down below.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's past is brought back and it is bringing pain and torture. It will feature the reprise of characters that we have not seen for years. It may upset you if you are uneasy with depressing subjects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first every fic. Please leave helpful comments below.

 

“Argh”

 Aaron awoke, forcing himself to sit up, shaking frantically from his nightmare. Robert woke instantly and lowered Aaron down onto his back. He tilted Aaron’s face to his. The fear in his Husbands eyes, it was unsettling.

 “Aaron, look at me. It is alright. Please calm down. Come back to me, yeah. That’s right. It’s ok. I’m here. Come on now, breath in and out.” Robert calmed Aaron down breathing in and out deeply to show Aaron. When Aaron came round from this massive nightmare he turned from Robert.

 “What time is it?”

 “2:30”

 “I haven’t woke Liv up have I,” Aaron asked Robert thinking of the hell it would cause.

 “She’s a teenage girl. A tornado could sweep through here and our Liv would still be tucked in those sheets complaining about who left the windows open,” Robert chuckled.

 Aaron smile to himself. He loved the way Robert referred to Liv as theirs. It showed them as a proper family. It drove Liv mad as she would always remind them that she is no ones property but this just made the married couple laugh to each other.

 “Are you ok now?” Robert asked tentatively, not wanting to leave Aaron about to have another panic attack.

 “No”

 “No?” Robert questioned in surprise. Normally Aaron replied yes even if it was a no.

 “That’s right, no. I am not alright and I don’t think I ever will be.”

 Aaron burst into tears as he started to panic again. Robert tried to calm him down before he was in full blown panic.

 “What is wrong aaron? I don’t understand,” Robert replied worried about what his husband was in such a blind panic about.

 “I….. I….. I try s…..s….so hard t…to try and l…l….live normally but some….thing always goes wrong!” he cried between sobs.

 Robert tried to reassure him with a kiss on the forehead. “I am here to protect you. Just tell me what is wrong.”

 Liv came into the room having heard the cries from the bedroom. She stood at the doorway for about five seconds before she came running in to help her brother.

 “Aaron, what is it? Let us help.”

 “Liv ring Chas.” Robert instructed.

 “What, at 2:30 in the morning? She’ll love you”

 “Just do it!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Chas came running in. She was still in her pyjamas and dressing gown having not bothered to get dressed once she'd heard. 

 “Aaron son, It’s me,” Chas tried to calm him down.

 “M…mum?” Aaron relied. Chas could here the uncertainty in his voice.

 "Yeah, it’s me love.” All of a sudden Aaron launched himself at his mum and Robert. The held him tight as he steadied his breathing. Liv watched as he tried to control himself.

 As Aaron looks over his shoulder and sees Liv, he pulls her in for the biggest hug he has ever given.

 “I’m sorry, Liv, I really am sorry”

 “It’s ok, Aaron, but what caused it?” Liv questioned. They all watched Aaron as to make sure that he did not go into another panic attack.

 “My dream.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know how often i will be uploading this so we will just see.


	2. nightmare from hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what was that dream about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are coming out really quick either I am good or I need sleeping pills. I think it is the second one. Enjoy.

"Aaron love, what do you mean your dream?" Chas asked curiously. 

"Nothing. I've said too much. I shouldn't have said anything," Aaron replied his body threatening to return to blind panic.

"It's OK love, you can tell us," his mother reassured.

"It's just the people who care about you," Robert informs him.

"Care about me. Why would you care about me. You must be off your heads," Aaron insists.

"Maybe, but I don't remember taking anything before I married you, I got drunk, yeah, but I blame that on the welly."

Aaron let out a small laugh.

"Ah, so it does laugh then," Liv piped in.

"Of course I laugh," Aaron smiled at his sister. Robert and Chas both just looked at them both. They admired the way that they could cheer each other up no matter what happened. Now that had to be true because Chas and Robert barley agree on anything.

* * *

 

They had gone down stairs to get a drink as they sat around the table. All three of Aaron nearest and dearest were waiting for him to tell them what the dream was about. Give them some slight indication on what had caused such a panic. None of they were wanting to push Aaron as they all thought that he'd had his fair share of panic attacks for one night.

Finally Aaron caved in.

"He was there"

"Who was there love?" Chas asked her son trying to work out what had happened.

"Gordon."

* * *

 

The room fell silent at the mention of the name.

"OK, it's alright. Can you carry on?" Chas asked her son.

"He brought up everything from my past. He said things about what he did. How it made him feel.."

"Aaron, you don't have to tell us," Robert told him, trying to keep eye contact.

"Yes I do, for my sake. He said he enjoyed it. That he felt better about himself after. That he enjoyed it.

"That sick pervert," Liv said then to everyone's surprise,"I am so sorry Aaron."

"He then went onto how I punched Sandra." Aaron carried on,"He said that is being gay didn't make me any less of a bloke then that did. I don't know maybe he was right."

"Non of that talk in this house," Robert said sternly.

"Sorry," Aaron replied.

"No it's OK. I just don't like you putting yourself down. Carry on," Robert added

"He said that you only took me in out of pity and because you had to," Aaron looked at his mum,"He said that you would have been better off if I was on the streets instead of with you. He then said that Paddy was a fool for letting me stay after I beat him up. That if it was him then I would not exit pain. I knew what he meant. It was awful. It was like i was eight years old again in my room, waiting for it to be over. then a massive calendar appeared. the front page was torn off to reveal today's date. the The day I let the person that I loved down.  26th July 2017. He said six years ago today I was a coward. Six years ago today I was an idiot. Six years ago today i let a vulnerable person make that worst decision of their life." Aaron was almost in tears.

Liv, who was oblivious to most of her older brother's past said,"Just tell us what happened, Aaron, it can't be that bad."

Everyone looked at her. she could tell that she had said something wrong but Aaron had tried to not tell her about it.

"You know the scars that I have on my body?" Aaron asked Liv.

"Yeah."

"Do you know where they are from?"

"I know that you used to self harm," Liv answered honestly.

"Do you know why?" Aaron asked trying to take as long as possible to get to the subject as he tried to avoid it. He had tried to avoid telling his younger sister all the time that she had been with him and Robert.

"No," Liv relied.

"I have them because six years ago today, I did something really stupid. When I live in the village before I knew this bloke. He was called Jackson, Jackson Walsh. He was a tetraplegic because of me. Because I was not straight about who I was he was in a train accident. This caused him to be paralysed from the neck down. His mother, Hazel, was always so strong and joyful but even she was not what she used to be. He wanted to die. He could not live in the body that he was in so he wanted to die. He obviously could not do this himself so he got me and Hazel to help him." Aaron starts to cry but is determined to carry on. "His mum was to give him a drug in water that would kill him but she could not do it. It was down to me. Six years ago today, I put a cup of poison to his mouth. Six years ago today, I made him drink it. Six years ago today, I murdered Jackson Walsh. Six years ago today, I murdered my boyfriend.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. that was full on. leave some ideas on how to improve.
> 
> Also in case you have not twigged, it is set 26th July 2017.


	3. reactions will affect the way we perceive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the reactions of the people close to Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try and post most days but i have got school so that may get a bit difficult.

It was the morning. Liv had gone straight to her room after she found out about Jackson. So many thoughts were going through her head. Who really was Jackson? What was he like? Did he really want to die? How could Aaron do it? All these questions surrounded her as she fell asleep wandering around her in her sleep. It was like having a film with subtitles. She could here it and see it all happening in front of her eyes. She was left with all these questions as she slept.

 

* * *

 

Chas had stayed the night. She wanted to make sure that Aaron was OK. As she saw him and Robert coming downstairs she got up and put the kettle on.

“Do you want a brew love?” she questioned trying to work out if he remembered last night. It was as if Aaron had read her mind as shortly after he replied.

“You don’t need to pretend, mum. I can remember last night. I know the date.”

“I know love and I know that it is going to be hard today but…” Robert interrupted her.

“But we are going to be here by your side all the way.”

Aaron smiled at them both but that feeling of security soon faded. “What is Liv going to think?” He started to worry. He was the only security she had and now she knows that he has been keeping secrets from her. No only that but it was not a small secret, it was a major reason why he is the way he is. “She has to trust me and now she won’t know if she can. I’ve made a massive mess of it all!”

“No you haven’t,” Robert reassured, “She will understand as I don’t think that she tells you everything, does she?”

“I still need Liv to trust me and she might not anymore.”

“I’m sure she will love,” Chas tells her son.

“We’ll see once you’ve answered some questions.”

All three of them turn around to see Liv at the bottom of the stairs. She had come down so quietly that none of them had noticed her there.

“Shall we start?”

 

* * *

 

“Why did you not tell me?” Liv had been quizzing Aaron about his judgement on why he thought that it was a good idea to keep such a big secret to himself. He was getting warn down but knew that she had a right to know.

“I thought I was protecting you,” he told his younger sister.

“Like you thought you were protecting me from Dad when it was his sentencing or his funeral.” She was getting wound up now how could he think that she did not deserve to know?

“No. I was protecting you from thinking that you were not safe around me. I was also protecting myself. Do you think its easy talking about this with people? Telling people that I murdered the man that I loved?”

“Well no,” she replied sheepishly.

“Exactly. It isn’t easy. It is hard. I thought that if you did not know then I could face it out by forcing myself to act normal in front of you.” Aaron started to break down. Tears were streaming down his face and they were showing no signs of stopping now. “I just want to be normal but I can’t, I just can’t.” He broke down.

“I am so sorry Aaron! I am so so sorry!” Liv quickly wrapped her arms around her brother. He wrapped himself around her. “I should never have pushed you. I should have let you go on. I’m sorry.”

 

* * *

 

Aaron managed to calm himself down.

“Thanks.”

“What for?” Liv questioned. “All I’ve done is make you cry”

“I needed a good cry and you were right, I should have never kept such a big secret from you.” Aaron began to smile.

“You did not have to tell me,” she replied.

“You’re my sister you deserve to know these things about me.”

“I still shouldn’t have pushed you,” Liv insisted.

“Maybe you were a bit strong.” Liv bowed her head. She knew that she had come on a bit strong. “But you would not be my sister if it was any other way.”

Aaron started to laugh. Everyone looked at him as if he was an alien but soon after Liv joined in. Robert and Chas just looked at them both in awe. The both loved how even on a dark day, they could still laugh. Robert soon joined in finding the situation unbearably funny. Chas soon joined in and all four of them were left laughing in the living room. They were so caught up in their laughing that Chas had forgotten that she had boiled the kettle.

 

* * *

 

Aaron had asked Robert to call all their close friends and family. Soon Adam, Victoria, Dian, Paddy and Cain were there. They had all known Jackson and they all thought that he was a top bloke. They had also all heard about what had happened in the early hours of the morning.

“Aaron mate, me and Vic heard what happened this morning,” Adam had said.

“Yeah we did. We just want to make sure that you are OK,” Victoria added.

“Yeah I’m fine. I’m just so glad that so many people can remember Jackson and remember him for his kindness.” Aaron looked down at the floor then looked straight back up. “No I am not going to cry again. If I do then my eyes will dry out.” He started to laugh.

“Hey.”

Aaron turned around to see Cain standing behind him. He had been shocked to see hm there as he did not seem like the kind of person to come to these sorts of things. He was even more shocked when he pulled him into a hug.

“What is wrong with you?” Aaron said in surprise. “Anyone would think that you had been the one going out with Jackson, not me.” He started to laugh.

“He was a top man. I may have thought he was a bit weird at first but he was a really good person and he made you happy.”

Aaron looked over to see Robert listening in. He had always got jealous whenever Jackson got mentioned. He did not blame him mind. He always got his back up whenever Rebecca walked down the street.

“Well I’m happy now so it all worked out in the end,” he smiled.

He walked over to Robert at told him to go outside and that he will be there in a minute.

 

* * *

 

“Look I know you don’t like people mentioning Jackson but you are going t have to put up with it today,” Aaron told Robert sternly.

“I know, but you always get your back up when ever we mention Rebecca.”

“I know. It isn’t exactly like Jackson is going to just show up one day and I go back with him, is it?” Aaron said trying not to show that he was hurt because Robert could not go throw one day of it.

“I’m not going to go with Rebecca.”

“Tell me why she is pregnant then!” Aaron shouted quickly hoping that no one had heard. They both went silent.

“Sorry,” Aaron said quickly.

“No I am,” Robert corrected. “I should be there for you, today of all days. Everyone says he was a top bloke. He managed to get Paddy to like him and I’m still working on that front.”

“To be fair he didn’t ever shout him,” Aaron said half laughing.

“Alright, alright,” Robert said starting to laugh as well. He loved the way Aaron was still able to laugh. “Let’s go back in and give Jackson the proper remembrance he deserves.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Robert replied. “You never know, it might make Paddy accept me being around.”

They both started to laugh as they returned into the mill.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments and suggestions on how I can make this better.


	4. To Jackson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everyone says that Jackson was a top bloke."  
> "Yeah he really was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its earlier than i planned but i may put another chapter up at normal time.

“Where did you get to?” Chas asked Aaron as he was getting another round of drinks. They had started drinking about fifteen minutes ago yet they were already on their fifth round. They said that they were giving Jackson a proper Dingle remembrance. Aaron didn’t buy it; he knew it was just an excuse to have more drinks. He didn’t mind. Jackson would just see them having a laugh and would probably be laughing at them trying to stand by the end of it.

“Robert needed to go outside. You know how he gets whenever we mention Jackson,” Aaron replied, smiling as he thought of Jackson laughing at them.

“He could at least go through today, for you if for no one else.”

“I act the same whenever Rebecca is mentioned!” Aaron snapped back, offended that his mum thought that Robert was not there for him. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “It’s fine.”

“To be fair, It isn’t exactly like Jackson is going to just show up one day and your going to go back with him, is it?

“I know. Just, let’s give these drinks to them. Jackson would not have wanted us arguing.”

 

* * *

 

“Where have you been with the drinks?” Cain blurted out, only just able to do it without tripping up over his words. “We are supposed to be giving him a proper remembrance, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Aaron replied handing out the drinks.

“Well it isn’t a proper Dingle remembrance without us all getting bladdered.”

“Exactly!” Robert yelled from the other side of Cain.

“Since when have you two agreed on anything?” Aaron asked his Husband.

“He isn’t so bad,” Robert explained before both he and Cain burst out laughing. They were both well and truly hammered.

 

* * *

 

It was about half an hour later so everyone was definitely drunk.

“Hello there, Chastity!” Paddy called out in a failed attempt at flirting.

“Hello there, Patrick!” Chas yelled back, clearly oblivious to what he was doing. “How are you today?”

“I am very well thanking you very much,” Paddy repli8ed in his best posh accent. They both started laughing. “Would you like to have a look at my sword?” they couldn’t breathe. Everyone had heard what Paddy had said and they were all in hysterics.

“Do you remember the last time?” Chas questioned.

“What happened last time?” Cain questioned.

“Yeah, what happened Paddy?” Aaron joined in. Al eyes were on Paddy now. He could tell.

“There was just a slight altercation with the zip and me,” Paddy said quieting off at the end. He could feel himself heating up and his cheeks flushing. People started to laugh but it was not as if they were laughing at him, it was more like they were laughing with him. He didn’t understand but he went with it.

 

* * *

 

“Can I please call you all to a toast?” Robert yelled trying to get everyone’s attention. He had climbed on the table with a glass. “Now I didn’t ever meet Jackson so I don’t have a first hand experience in what he was like. What I do know though is that he made Aaron happy. Despite everything Aaron was happy. He was there for Aaron at a tricky point in his life. He helped him with coming out and he never turned his back on him. Even after Aaron assaulting him, he didn’t turn his back on him. All that shows me is that he was a top bloke. I am sure that he had his faults but everyone always says that he was a brilliant person to be around. Even when he was paralysed…” People started to look down at the floor. He looked at Aaron. He looked like he was about to cry. “Even when he was paralysed, he was able to bring joy and laughter around to people I love the most and for that I will always be grateful. I know that many people are thinking that I am going out of my place saying this but he meant a lot to Aaron. He helped him and for that I will always be grateful.”

“To Jackson!” Everyone turned to look at Aaron. “To Jackson and his stupid wheelchair!”

“To Jackson!” Chas yelled, “And his stupidity!"

“To Jackson!” Cain yelled, “And his sense of humour, even after he searched in a tip for a day looking for a bath that was in my house!” Cain burst out laughing.

“To Jackson!” Paddy yelled, “For giving Pearl a distraction!”

“To Jackson!” Robert paused, “For making my Aaron happy!”

“To Jackson!”

“Come on, to the grave!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Robert's speech. It's a bit out of the blue but tell me what you think.


	5. we meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as they get to the graveside there is something different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soz for the short chapter. I just wanted to get one out today.

They all walked out of the pub. They formed a line in pairs- Aaron and Robert; Chas and Cain: Adam and Victoria- and they walked down to the graveyard. They didn’t go straight there. Aaron wanted to get something from the shop.

 

* * *

 

“Why are we in here?” Robert asked slightly confused about how they got lets go to the shop from to the grave.

“I need to get something for Jackson.”

“Like what?”

“Flying saucers,” Aaron replied.

“Why?” Robert asked still a bit confused.

“They’ve got a special memory,” Aaron told Robert.

“What special memory can they have?” Robert enquired, unable to see how something that stupid can have a special meaning to someone. Aaron went quiet for a minute. “Come on you can tell me.”

“We shared a bag the morning before we had an argument,” Aaron explained.

“What so special about a…?”

“Mid argument he yelled that he loved me.” The room went very quiet. Aaron just looked at the floor. He had never told Robert any of this. “Sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry?” Robert asked, “There is no need to be sorry.”

“Well I didn’t think that you would like being told about the time my ex told me he loved me!” Aaron snapped back.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Robert tried to explain that he thought that it was good that Aaron was able to talk to him about it. He said that it showed trust.

“Come on, I’ll buy these and then we can go,” Aaron said while walking over to the counter.

 

* * *

The group reached the graveyard. Aaron paused for a minute, unsure if he was ready. He looked at Robert who just gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled back then looked forward. As he walked into the graveyard something was different, like there was someone else. He was not wrong.

He looked towards Jackson’s grave. There was a woman standing there. He analysed her. She seemed familiar but he didn’t quite know who it was until she turned and looked him straight in the eye.

_No it can’t be_

“Hazel?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? How will Aaron react to Hazels arrival? Leave comments


	6. meet you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Hazel catch up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not going to upload today but it would not leave me alone.

“Aaron? Is that really you?”

“Oh my god. Hazel!” Aaron yelled before running towards her. He flung his arms around her like he had the last time he had saw her.

“I was just telling Jackson that you would not have forgotten him,” Hazel replied with a smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

They stood there looking at the grave of there joint love. Aaron turned to Hazel.

“I never did forget him. I never will”

“I know love. None of up will,” Hazel said looking into Aaron’s eyes.

“Have you been seeing anyone recently?” Aaron asked her.

“No. there were men falling over there feet at the sight of me in the Caribbean but I had to let them down gently.” They both burst out laughing. “Have you?”

“You could say that.” This was the moment that Robert came over to Aaron.

  “And who are you?” she asked looking at Robert.

“I’m Robert, Robert Sugden,” Robert said looking confused as to who she was. “Who are you?”

“I’m Hazel, Hazel Rhodes, Mother to Jackson Walsh,” Hazel said proudly.

“I am sorry,” Robert said thinking that he had sounded a bit too cocky earlier.

“Don’t be,” Hazel told him. “How do you know Aaron?” She didn’t need to wait for the reply, she saw it written on both of there faces. “You know I said to my self, I said, Hazel, that lad is gonna get himself a good looking man someday!”

“Sorry?” Robert said, a little confused having not known what she was like.

“I can see it all over your two’s faces. You too are together.” Robert started to blush. He was not used to this sort of attention about his relationship with Aaron.

 

* * *

 

They stayed there for a while, occasionally looking at the other lot to make sure that they were no too drunk. Chas had come over to see them all as she hadn’t seen Hazel since she left either. Hazel turned to the couple.

“One of you two need to ask the question soon.”

“What?” Robert said, still getting used to how loud she was.

“If you want to get married you need to do it sooner rather than later seeing as though part of the government want to stop homosexual marriage.”

Aaron and Robert burst out laughing. Hazel was so confused.

“What’s so funny?” Hazel said before looking at there hands. “You are already married?!”

“Don’t make it sound so unbelievable!” Aaron yelled, still laughing really hard.

“Congratulations. Jackson would be so proud.”

Aaron stopped laughing. “You really think so?”

“Yeah.”

“And I can confirm it,” someone said behind them. They turned around and were all shocked. Both Aaron and hazel gasped at the shock.

“Impossible!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who said that? Leave a comment to tell me if your enjoying it or not.


	7. Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron see the person he thought he would never see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure. It was just though of in the middle of school.

How is this happening? This shouldn’t be happening. Why is this happening? Why is life being so cruel to them?

“Say something.”

“Jackson!” Aaron yelled. He rushed to him and tried to hug him. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t him.

“Aaron, I’m dead remember.”

“I know. I just want to hold you. Its five years. Five years since I was an idiot. Five years since I let you ruin your life,” Aaron sobbed. He couldn’t stop the tears rolling down his cheeks. He was so happy to see Jackson.

“It wasn’t much of a life, was it?” Jackson reminded him.

“That’s not what you said in your video diary.”

“I know and I am so sorry. I should never have put that sort of pressure on you, or left you to crumble,” Jackson apologised.

He had seen all of Aaron’s life since his death. He saw Ed and what he did for Adam. He also saw the affair with Robert. It mad him laugh seeing that he still had his faults. He was happy to see that he was carrying on with his life.

Unfortunately he had seen the rest as well. He saw the way he crumbled when he died, how he had started to believe that barrister. He saw the self harming caused by it. He also saw the way he crumbled when his dad showed up. He saw Gordon and the trial and everything that came of it. He saw Robert threatening to shoot Aaron but he also saw him getting shot which he thought was just karma. He had seen the crash and the way Robert had saved Aaron. He was grateful for everything he had done for him.

 

* * *

 

Jackson walked to Robert. He stood in front of him before giving him a ghostly hug.

“No offense but I haven’t met you so I fell weird having a hug from your ghost,” H e said a bit scared of what he was witnessing.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK. I know that you helped Aaron with his life.”

“Thank you,” Robert looked at him weirdly.

“Why are you thanking me?

“You helped him through everything. Through Gordon and you saved him from the crash and risked your life to save Aaron’s,” Jackson replied. Robert felt really pleased with himself. He was still not used to people being nice to him.

“I’m the reason why Rebecca is knocked up!” Robert said shocked at why he was being nice to him.

Aaron was looking at them both. He had tears streaming down his face again. “You saw?”

“Yeah.” Aaron felt his heart stop.

“How much?” He was not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“Everything.”

 

* * *

 

Aaron started to panic. Why? Why would this happen? Why would he know? He was in a full panic attack. Robert came in front of him and helped him down to the floor.

“Aaron, love,” Hazel said. She had been ripped from the shock of seeing her son again.

“He needs space!” Robert yelled. “Aaron looked at me. Look at me please. Breath. In. Out. In. Out. That’s it. Good?

“Thanks R...Ro…Robert.” Aaron looked at Jackson. “ How do you know?”

Chas and Hazel moved away as they knew that it needed to just be them three. Aaron braced himself.

 

* * *

 

Jackson explained to Aaron about how he had saw it all. Aaron didn’t know what to think. He was so confused. This time yesterday he thought that he would have no one to talk to. When Hazel showed up he felt relieved but he couldn’t tell her everything. Now Jackson was here and he knew everything. He really was looking over him. He never left him, not really.

 

* * *

 

“Thank you,” Aaron replied after a while.

“Thank Robert.”

“Why?” both Aaron and Robert said synchronised.

“He was there for you.” Jackson smile at Robert. “He is a good person.”

“I killed my brother’s wife, I was gonna kill Aaron, I shot Paddy!” Robert said in shock. Aaron laughed the way he quoted what he had said those years back.

“Your good deep down,” Jackson stated. “Fair enough, it’s a bit far down, but its still there.” They all burst out laughing. It was a great feeling to see Aaron happy Robert thought.

“Wow, you really must know Aaron well.”

“Why would you say that? I only knew him a year,” Jackson replied.

“You still know how to make him laugh after all these years.”

 

* * *

 

Jackson thought to himself how much easier it would have been if the accident didn’t happen.

“Take my hand.”

“What?” Aaron replied.

“Take my hand,” Jackson replied. “You too Robert.”

“Why?

“I want to show you both something.”

Aaron and Robert both looked at each other. They were both so confused but at the same time really curious. They both took his hands then there was a flash.

“Wow!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment to tell me what you think.


	8. enchanated Emmerdale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson takes them to a magical place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is longer than past ones. Hope you enjoy.

“What is this place?” Aaron asked in awe. “It is amazing!” All of a sudden they were in a paradise. They felt amazing and they were sure they were dead more some time. Jackson had assured them that they weren’t dead.

“You are in my new home.” Jackson told them. “I have no need for that stupid wheelchair or constant assistance.”

“It’s amazing,” Aaron stated.

“I’ll second that,” Robert followed. They were in the middle of a village. It looked familiar to them but they couldn’t tell where from. Then it clicked.

“Emmerdale!” Robert and Aaron shouted in unison.

“Well a better version of it,” Jackson added.

“What do you mean?” Robert asked not quite catching on.

“It is where you can see all the people you have lost.”

“Really?” Aaron asked surprised.

“Yeah.”

“To what extent?” Aaron asked curiously as he was thinking of someone that he missed but he doubted that it would work like that. Jackson read his mind and started to whistle. All of a sudden something was running towards Aaron.

“Is that…Clyde. Hello boy, I have missed you so much!” Aaron yelled through tears. It had been more than six years since he had seen Clyde. He had missed him so much. It had been his fault that he had died, if he had of paid Mickey he would not have died. “I am so sorry boy, I should have just paid Mickey.”

Clyde just licked his face and Aaron took it as his way of saying apology accepted. Robert came over and started to stroke Clyde. He had always loved dogs. He liked that way that they were loyal and he used to wish that he was like that. He started to look around thinking to himself, _if everyone from Emmerdale comes here will my dad be here?._ He looked up and there he was wearing his boots and flat cap. He looked as if he was buying something for the farm. He saw Robert.

“Robert?”

“Dad?”

 

* * *

 

“How are you Robert?”

“What do you mean?” He was looking at his farther as if he did not recognise him. _Has he forgotten the last time we talked?_

“How are you?”

“The last thing you said to me was leave and never come back and now you are talking to me like nothing has happened. How do you expect me to feel?” Robert said, he added a smirk at the end because when does he not when he is being cocky?

Jack looked at Robert then said, “I tried to find you after you left. I did…”

“What? Care about me. Please, you don’t care about me. You only care about Andy and Vic.”

“I do care!”

“Whatever, Dad” Jack smiled when he called him dad, it showed that he still thought of him that way.

 

* * *

 

There was an awkward silence. Then out of the blue Jack turned to Robert and asked “Who’s the lucky woman?”

“You what?” Robert said, shocked at what his dad had just said. Jack pointed to the ring on Roberts finger.

“I saw the ring on your finger. So, who’s the lucky woman?”

“I am,” Aaron stood up and stood next to Robert.

“You?”

“Yes me. Have you got a problem with that?” Aaron said. He could feel the anger building up in him. He remembered everything Robert had told him about this dad.

“This isn’t you, Robert”

“Yes it is, Dad. Whether you like it or not, this is who I am. I spent 15 years hiding my sexuality and now I just want to be myself with him!” Robert snapped back. He felt his anger rising along side Aaron’s.

“Your conf…”

“Confused? No I’m not. I’m bisexual, Dad. If you can’t deal with that then tough. I haven’t cared up until now so I won’t care now.” Robert was about to break.

“But Robert,” Jack started.

“Can’t you just accept that we are happy?” Aaron asked. He was losing control.

“Happy. Your happy?”

“Yeah. I am. I have never been happier.” Robert started to break down. “I love Aaron and that isn’t going to change.”

“How can you love him”

“Because he is there for me!” Robert blurted out without thinking. His dad looked at him as if he didn’t recognise his own son.

“Well there is no need to talk to me like that!” Jack shouted back and went to hit Robert. Aaron pushed Jack before he could.

“No! You don’t get to do that to him again!”

Jack looked at him and smirked. You could tell Robert was his son. “What are you going to do about it?”

“You’re his dad. I know what you did when you found out.”

“What are you talking about?” Jack said trying to make out like he didn’t know what he was on about but he did. Of course he did.

“Don’t play dumb. I know about the lad that helped on the farm. I know that you sacked him and laid right into Robert.” Aaron could tell that he was losing his rag but he didn’t mind. He thought he deserved it.

“Who are you to tell me how to bring up my son?” Aaron could not believe what he was hearing.

“He is your son. You should be supportive. It ain’t no walk in the park, you know. He was not ready to tell you, yet you found out. You don’t understand what that means. When Paddy told my mum I felt so angry that she knew but she was supportive. You find out and you go mental you made him think that he was no right. That he was not normal and that he should hide it and be ashamed of it. It was not fair on him. He has thought that he was no good for the best part of his life. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your no dad to him.” Aaron stopped there as he looked at Robert and he was crying. “I am so sorry Robert.”

“No, I am,” Robert said before getting up and going towards his farther. “He is right. I don’t need to be ashamed about this anymore. I am happy with Aaron.”

“Your name Aaron then?” Jack yelled at Aaron.

“Yeah, Aaron Dingle.”

“Wait. You’re a Dingle?” Jack asked him.

“Yeah.”

“As in Chas’s son?”

“Yeah?” Aaron was starting to wonder what all these questions were for.

“Your dad’s Gordon Livesy right?”

“Yeah!” Aaron hated the mention of his name.

“As in that Gordon?” Jack pointed to someone. Aaron felt his heart stop. His dad was outside the pub. He looked as if he didn’t care about what had happened. He looked up and saw Aaron. He started to walk towards Aaron. Aaron wanted to get away. He wanted to move but he couldn’t. He was stuck. His muscles wouldn’t work.

“Hello son.”

 

* * *

 

“Get away from me?” Aaron was crying. How could he not? His rapist was standing right in front of him like nothing was wrong.

“Why are you saying things like that?” Gordon was playing the injured party. Typical.

“You raped me!” Everyone looked at them. It was as if non of them had known about it.

One of the people in the street ran to Jackson and said, “You weren’t lying then?”

“No, of course I was not lying!”

“Get away from me, Gordon!” Aaron could feel his blood boiling but when he didn’t it was Robert who came to the rescue.

“He said go away so do one.”

“He’s my son!” Gordon yelled back, trying to make himself look bigger than Robert but Robert was taller then him and he knew it.

“No. you don’t get to call him that after what you did to him.” Aaron looked at the way his husband was helping him  against his farther. He remembered that his stubbornness was one of the reasons why he loved him. He suddenly felt a rush of strength that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He got up and hit Gordon.

“I was young and too scared to fight back before. Well I’m not too scared to fight back now!” He was really proud of himself and he could tell Robert was proud of him when he drew him in for a loving hug. He stayed there for a while.

 

* * *

 

Jackson soon came and said, “We should be getting back now. They will be wondering what is going on.”

“What do we look like at the moment?” Robert asked. He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t look like a right twit.

Jackson took them to a massive screen at the end of the street. “Like that,” he said, pointing to the screen. “This is how I know all the stuff that has happened. I spend hours here wishing I could change it.” He looked at his feet.

Aaron and Robert just looked at the screen. They had fallen asleep with Aaron’s Head on Robert’s chest. They looked really sweet. The smiled to each other.

“Let’s go home.” He then turned to Jackson and asked if he would be there.

“I need to talk to my mum so yeah, for a bit”

Flash and they were back in the graveyard with Aaron on Robert’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think in the comments.


	9. Reconecting with the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Jackson to go but then Aaron does something unbelievable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter so i hope you enjoy.

They got up and looked around. They saw Jackson saying goodbye to Hazel. She was crying.

“Why do you have to go!” She screamed. “Please stay. I need you to stay with me. I need my little boy!”

“I can’t stay. I have to return before sunset,” He told her crying himself.

“It isn’t fair!”

“I know, mum,” Jackson cried his goodbye. “I have to go now. There is nothing I can do nut I promise, I will be looking over you. All of you. That includes you Robert.”

“Me?” Robert asked confused.

“Yes, you.”

“Why?” Robert didn’t understand why he would want to look over him.

“You have help Aaron over the years and for that I will be eternally grateful. For that I will look over you. How do you think you get away with half of the shit you do? I am very good at persuading people.”

“As is Aaron.”

 

* * *

 

They all turned around to see an angel. They were shocked. What did he mean? Why was he talking about Aaron.

“What do you mean I’m good at persuading people?” Aaron asked shocked at what he was hearing.

“What did you wish earlier?” the angel asked him.

“What are you on about?” Aaron asked. He remembered what he had wished. He had wished that he hadn’t killed Jackson. He had wished that there was no crash. He had wished that he had just told him  that he loved him.

“You remember.”

Aaron looked at Robert then to Jackson. “I wished that he never died. That I was not so stupid. That there was no crash. That he was OK.”

“I know,” the angel said.

 

* * *

 

There was 5 minutes of complete silence. Aaron didn’t want to look at Robert in case he saw disappointment in his eyes. In case Robert felt like he was not loved or that Aaron loved Jackson more.

“Aaron. It’s OK.” Aaron looked up to Robert. He was in front of him. “If he had never died, we may not have got together or got married but…..but that doesn’t matter. You would be happy and that’s all that would matter.”

“Why are you being so nice? I just said that I wished I was still with Jackson.” Aaron looked into Robert’s eyes. There was no hate in them. He could only see love. Love for him. He smiled. He knew that Robert loved him very much. He loved him no matter what and that was all he needed to know he wanted to be with him.

“You still love me and that’s what matters,” Robert said to Aaron. He then looked at him confused, “You do still love me?”

“Yeah of course I do,” Aaron reassured him. “I will always love you, Mr. Dingle.”

 

* * *

 

“I am ready to go now,” Jackson told the angel.

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“Your not going.”

“What?” Everyone looked at the angel. How was he not going to go. He was dead.

“What do you mean he isn’t going?” Aaron asked.

“You can keep him here.”

“Can we?” Hazel asked. She looked as if she was going to cry from happiness.

“If Aaron does something,” the angel confirmed.

Aaron looked up. “What do I have to do?”

“You have to kiss Jackson”

“What do you mean I have to kiss Jackson?” Aaron was so confused. He looked towards Robert then to Hazel. Robert moved to him.

“Do it.”

“What?” Aaron said in shock. “You want me to kiss my ex to bring him back from the dead?”

“Yes,” Robert replied.

“Why?”

“He means a lot to you.” Robert started. “You loved him and probably still do.”

“I don’t love him as much as I love you.”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Robert said jokingly. “You still loved him once and you wish that he was still here. When I said my speech earlier, I meant every word of it. He was able to bring joy and laughter around to people I love the most and for that I will always be grateful. I wish he was alive so I could get to know him. He is a good man. Do it for Hazel if not for yourself.”

 

* * *

 

By this point everyone in the village was in the graveyard. They were all looking to see what he was going to do. Most of them knew Jackson and wanted him back.

“What about the accident?”

“It would be like it never happened,” The angel replied.

“So he would be able to walk again?” Aaron asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” the angel replied simply.

“OK.” Aaron readied himself. He looked at Robert.

“Do it. I can’t exactly talk and I trust you. You need to do this Aaron.” Aaron listened to the word of his husband He looked at Jackson.

 

* * *

 

“He leaned forward. Slowly. Carefully. Jackson did the same. Slowly. Carefully. Their lips connected. There was sparks and whirls as the kissed. The felt weightless. It was like there was no gravity. It was amazing. Aaron felt all his problems leave, they floated off in the swirl and sparks of the after life. It was amazing.

He opened his eyes then quickly hugged Jackson. He was here, he was alive, he was well but most importantly, he could walk and stand and run and do everything that a normal person could do. Soon Hazel was wrapping herself Aaron them followed by Chas and Bob and Cain and finally Robert.

“Thank you so much!” He yelled crying like the rest.

“Why are you crying? Aaron asked him.

“Because I am happy for him and for you.”

“It is OK at last.”

“I told you didn’t I,” Hazel started. “People said that it was never going to get better but I said to myself, I said Hazel, you have got to think positive.”

“Mum, if you don’t shut up and give me a proper hug now I will not be happy,” Jackson said laughing.

They stood there just hugging for what felt like years. They were all really happy.

 

* * *

 

“Can I now get jealous?” Robert asked Aaron. They had all gone back to the Mill for drinks to celebrate.

“What about?” Aaron asked everyone had started to listen to them.

“About Jackson.”

“Why would you be complaining about me?” Jackson asked laughing. He was so happy to be back with the people that he loved and to be able to interact with them.

“Well now you could show up one day and he could go back with you.” They all just started to laugh.

“You silly beggar.” Aaron laughed to Robert

“I love you Mr. Sugden.”

“I love you Mr. Dingle.”

They started to kiss and everyone was just having a fun time. All of a sudden Robert stood up on the table like he had earlier.

“I would like to make another toast.” Everyone looked at him. “I would like to say that I am so happy that Jackson is back. I want to get to know him and maybe he can tell me how Aaron used to be and tell me how to handle him when he’s in a mood. So, to Jackson!”

“To Jackson!” Aaron yelled.

“To my little boy!” Hazel yelled.

“To me!” Jackson yelled jokingly. Everyone laughed.

“Jackson!” They looked around to see Pearl.

“Hi Pearl,” Jackson said remembering what it used to be like. Everyone just laughed they spent the whole night laughing and singing and dancing while watching Jackson avoid Pearl. It was the best thing ever for Aaron. He felt good. He felt happy. He felt normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought. I don't know what my next fic is going to be about. it will be Robron tho.


End file.
